Anxiety, Depression, Insomnia. Oh My!

I've been contemplating the notion of being deserving of love. I have been single for a loooooong time now, and I'm okay with staying that way until I find someone who is worth the effort. But as a person struggling with mental illness (I'm Bipolar and have C-PTSD), I fear that I won't find someone who can love me with the darkness that comes with me. I've heard sayings like "no one will love you if you don't love yourself," or "be someone worth loving and people will love you," and those sentiments always bothered me. I don't  love myself, and I don't know that I ever will. I hate my brain for what it does to me without my consent. I am currently coming out of a hypo-manic episode that has been messing with my life the past couple of weeks and encouraged my psychiatrist to try more aggressive medication options than I am really comfortable with. It's something that happens every 16 months or so - comes with the genetics - and